Say Yes to the Dress.

You know what's a good idea? Getting married before you have a baby.

This is not about morals, or expectations, or being proper. No, I'm quite happy about the order in which we've gone about building our life, planned or otherwise.

But as we're (sort of, haphazardly) planning this whole wedding thing, I'm realizing the real reason(s) people get married before they have kids. I'll list them as follows:

One: DRESS SHOPPING. Dress shopping with a baby is impossible without a helper. Did you know that babies hate shopping? Yeah, me too. When I worked in retail it angered me to no end when I saw bored, fussy children being dragged around stores by their parents. Why take a baby shopping at all? Why can't they just leave the kid with someone and go alone? It never occurred to me that this is often impossible. Babies have schedules, adults have schedules, and most often there just isn't another option than to take the kiddo with you. Yet another misconception about parenthood. I was the girl who gave toddlers paper and markers to keep them happy while mom shopped. Mostly because I loved kids and I got to play with them for a bit. And because I hated my job and would do pretty much anything to distract myself from actually working. I digress.

Dress shopping has been a nightmare. And I don't even need a real wedding dress! All I want is something fun and casual but not sloppy. I want to look effortlessly elegant, but not stuffy. Nothing fancy. Did you know that's a completely unreasonable request? Yeah, me either.

Also: my body is not what it used to be. Did you know that having a kid rearranges everything and leaves you stumped as to how to work with your new shape? Yeah, me too. But still. I can no longer look at something and think, "Yeah, that'll probably fit." My only worry used to be whether or not it had a full skirt (this Mama's always been...a pear) and whether or not I had to wear a bra. Now? Now all sorts of things need support. Shaping. Concealing. I'm confounded. And this is just the first reason why wedding planning with a kid is no fun.

Two: Money and time. These could probably each be separate categories, but if I expound too much my head might just burst. Money--we don't have it. Time--we don't have that, either. Also, my family all lives out of town and they do not enjoy things like making travel arrangements. Or being in the same room together. Or staying in the same hotel. On to the next category, before I burst a blood vessel in my eye.

Three: Caring for the baby on The Big Day. In order for my wedding day to not suck, I need to be as stress-free as possible. In order for my blood pressure to remain in a healthy place, I need to make sure my kid is happy. In order for my kid to be happy, she needs to nurse regularly and take naps. On time. I know, I know. I need to loosen up. I'm working on it, but at this rate I'm going to be a basketcase making sure Little E is taken care of. This means having the wedding in a familiar place, which leaves...our apartment (NO WAY) and Elliot's parents' house, which is where we'll end up doing things, I'm sure. What's that? I have less than two months and we're still not completely set on the location? Yeah, we're awesome at this.

But anyway. We'll figure it out. All I'm hoping is that the day will feel something like this:

This was another very simple wedding, a few months after we'd begun dating.
It pretty much sums up why we're doing this whole thing.

This weekend, I'm putting the babe to bed, gathering some girlfriends, and heading downtown to look for a dress, followed by some expensive swanky cocktails. It may be as close to a bachelorette party as I'll get, and I'm very excited. Wish me luck!