On Mother's Day and getting out of my own way

This weekend was (my very first!) Mother's Day. The celebration lasted all weekend and involved a lot of time in the kitchen and ridiculous amounts of sugar. I'll write more about what I made in another post, but let's just say I may need to give my poor pancreas a break for a while.

Thursday and Friday were spent gathering ingredients and carefully planning my time to get everything done despite millions of distractions from a curious almost-toddler. Not an easy task, but we made the best of it and everything came together without one Mama (or baby) meltdown.

On Friday afternoon we packed up the car and headed down to visit Elliot's family in Steilacoom. Little E's Opa had a birthday this week so we combined celebrations with Mama's Day. I didn't get any pictures (Megan, however, did) but there was a lot of couch time, food, and babies poking each others' eyes out. Fun times!

 Here's the hardest part of an event like (my very first!) Mother's Day: I get excited. When you live in my brain, getting excited about something almost always spells disappointment. I am a master of setting huge expectations, watching everything crash and burn, and getting all stompy in the aftermath. This is so much fun for everyone around me, I'm sure. It started out ugly. Sunday morning looked like this:

This view is not unusual this time of year. Actually, it's completely expected. EXCEPT on (my very first!) Mother's Day. Things were not looking good.

Elliot had to work all day. This was actually okay by me, as Little E and I had plans to have coffee with one of my very best girlfriends. Around mid-morning, our coffee date was cancelled. Stomp, stomp, stomp. Things were definitely not looking good.




One of the biggest challenges of motherhood, for me, has been getting out of the house alone with the baby. I am not a particularly motivated person and I've never been adventurous. Adding a baby into the mix means it's nearly impossible for me to get up the gumption to leave the house unless I have a friend with me. It is a challenge, but I am doing my very best to get beyond my anxieties (and laziness) and just get out there. This Sunday was a prime example of why I need to get out of my own way, put on real pants and go outside, kiddo in tow. We had a lovely afternoon, Little E and me.

One of the reasons I was so excited about this weekend was that it wasn't only (my very first!) Mother's Day, but also the opening day for our neighborhood farmer's market. I've been eagerly awaiting the first market of the season for weeks, perhaps months. The selection is meager this early in the season, but the energy is amazing. It seems everyone comes out of hibernation to get their hands on the first tender bunches of asparagus and onion tops. We soaked up a tiny bit of afternoon sunshine and took pictures of the still-pale tomatoes. I sipped lemonade, bought flowers and ran into some friends I haven't seen in far too long.

Little E was thrilled to spend the afternoon with her Auntie Wendy, and I was happy to receive the enormous pile of new reading material she brought for me. 

I'm working on getting out of my shell more and more, difficult as it is at times. I have to remind myself to just keep moving, not to think so much, not to set impossible expectations. I'm almost a year into this mama gig and I'm just now starting to see glimpses of my former self, the woman who got lost in the baby haze. I'm also seeing bits of a new me, of the mama I'm becoming, and I'm excited about getting comfortable in this new life. I just need to stay out of my own way.

My pretty baby, just because.

I hope everybody had a lovely Mother's Day weekend, whether it was your very first or your fiftieth. We do get the whole weekend, you know!