Oh, those highs and lows.

For me, one of the hardest parts of being a mama is...er, um, the lack of control. I like things...just so. I am a quiet person in the morning, my dishes all have their proper place, and I do not enjoy chaos. Let's laugh about that for a minute:

Take that, Mom!

Everyone knows that children make messes. They don't sleep. Conversely, they are always asleep whenever you have something important to do. Turn your back for a second, and the dishes multiply exponentially. Rush home from the grocery store because it is nap time, and grind your teeth for an hour because that baby will not sleep. Stress for the rest of the day expecting a terrible night because that baby missed her nap, only to be pleasantly surprised when she only wakes twice. Oy.

Not knowing how my day is going to go really gets under my skin. I can handle bad days. My problem is, I never know which days are going to be bad or why one day goes well and the next is awful. 

Joe, unaffected by it all. I envy the cats' nonchalance.

Mornings have such great potential, and they all start out more or less the same. Baby wakes around 6a.m. for a snuggle session with mama. We nurse and tickle and play with chubby toes until the kid gets squirmy. We say hi to the cats, "HAH GAH!" and then sneak down the hall to wake Papa (Big E sleeps on the couch due to some serious snoring which my light-sleeping, night-nursing self cannot handle right now.) Coffee is made, Sesame Street is turned on. All is generally well. Then, somewhere around 8a.m. the day starts to take on a distinct feel--sometimes energetic and upbeat, sometimes lethargic and oppressive. Try as I might, I cannot lay my finger on what sets the stage for the day. Is the coffee too weak? Are there too many messes? Is it the weather? Why, oh why, is this morning different from yesterday morning when the circumstances seem exactly the same?

Some serious Elmo time.

The only common factor here is me. I determine the feel of the day. I know that at times, my expectations get in the way of enjoying the present moment. My brain thinks that one day filled with sunshine, perfect nap timing and motivation means that all subsequent days must be equally amazing. 

I'm quick to find disappointment after such a high. Sometimes I just can't find it in myself to keep up with the house, be present with my daughter and enjoy every minute of the here and now. Some days, the TV and our pajamas stay on, the laundry piles up, and mama feels overwhelmed....

...and that's okay. I think. 

I'm working on being kind to myself on these days. I'm focusing on finding balance, taking deep breaths, biting my tongue when I'm feeling snarky, and being gentler with my loves. Not every day is going to be perfect. If all else fails, dressing the baby up and snapping some cute photos is a great way to pass the time.

We'll try again tomorrow. How do you deal with those oh-so-rough days?